Anatomy of The Underhanded Job Ad Copy in Tech

It was a late Summer night.

I realized it from the way the fresher air hit me.

Through the open window.

The season was over. No romantic Autumn could hide the fact Winter’s close.

I peeped around to see.

If I would find a position.

Heroes get to the dark hours too.

I realized how picky.

Being my own boss made me.

After going through a few job ads.

I could talk myself into.

It shocked me.

“Top companies pour top-level hogwash on you in job ads.”

But don’t take my word for granted.

Let the examples speak.

The method:

Step 1.

I selected the top five companies from LinkedIn’s 2016 Global Top Attractors list.

Step 2.

I looked up a job ad from each company.

For the sake of measuring apples to apples.

I chose jobs in sales or customer facing positions.

In Ireland.

A no-brainer since it’s a great country.

If you can deal with the stiff housing market.

Filled to the brim with job ads from global ‘talent magnets’.

Don’t look at my sideways.

It’s LinkedIn lingo.

Step 3.

I ran the intro or loose description of the job and company.

The first part of job ads to warm you up for the hard criteria.

Through my favourite bullshit indicator tool:

Step 4.

I listed the companies in order of job ad ‘quality’.

Step 5.

Gave the company’s rank on the Global Attractor list.

Listed position.


Pulled the measured part of the job ads for future reference.

The rank

Companies ranked from bad to worse.


Rank on global magnet list: #2

_Position: Business Development Representative

Area: Sales

Location: Dublin, Ireland

Our Dublin office is the European Hub for the Corporate Sales Organisation. We occupy a state-of-the-art building in Sandyford, only 20 minutes from the city centre and immediate proximity to the Green Luas Line which brings you straight to the heart of Dublin! The office is a heaven of diversity and offers a great opportunity to work with people from all nationalities and backgrounds.

Department Description: For Business Development Representatives (BDRs), every new and existing account is a prospect for business. BDRs also collaborate closely with their Account Executive to build a pipeline across multiple product lines.

Salesforce job ad's bullshit rank reading from


Rank on global magnet list: #5

Position: Account Representative — Education

Area: Sales

Location: Dublin, Ireland

Joining our talented team as Account Representative, you will have the exciting opportunity to help support the growth and shape the future of a group of cloud technologies at Amazon Web Services.
You will be responsible for supporting and managing your Public Sector Mid-Market Territory by generating demand for the AWS services in both new and existing accounts.

Your goal will be managing inbound leads, conducting outbound calls, opportunity discovery, and pipeline maturation and closing. This position is based in Dublin and we support relocation where required.

Amazon job ad's bullshit rank reading from


Rank on global magnet list: #1

Position: [Non-English] speaking Customer Relations Advisor

Area: Customer Service

Location: Cork, Ireland

Every day, people do amazing things at Apple. What will you do? At Apple, great ideas have a way of becoming great products, services and customer experiences very quickly. Bring passion and dedication to your job and there’s no telling what you could accomplish. The role of Customer Relations (CR) Advisor performs a variety of support for Apple Customers. As a CR Advisor you will be responsible for customer’s recovery and retention. You will handle various complex customer’s issues, will work closely and communicate effectively with different departments to ensure a successful resolution of each case as well as delivering best-in-class customer experience.

Apple job ad's bullshit rank reading from


Rank on global magnet list: #3

Position: SMB Account Management

Area: Sales, Management

Location: Dublin, Ireland

Facebook was built to help people connect and share, and over the last decade our tools have played a critical part in changing how people around the world communicate with one another. With over a billion people using the service and more than fifty offices around the globe, a career at Facebook offers countless ways to make an impact in a fast growing organization.

Facebook’s mission is to make the world more open and connected. The Small & Medium Business (SMB) team contributes directly to this mission by connecting every small business in the world with their customers on Facebook, and then helping them grow through solutions like Facebook Pages and Advertising. We succeed when we help our customers grow their business.
People joining our team will have an outstanding opportunity to build client relationships helping to scale our sales and service model for SMB’s. Account Managers will leverage customer insights to help partners build their business using Facebook to drive success. The ideal candidate will have some prior advertising and/or account management experience. The role of the account manager will be to establish, own and manage an expanding portfolio of clients, focusing on driving revenue, product adoption, education and customer satisfaction. The ideal candidate will also have an appetite for identifying and executing on opportunities to scale services across other markets within EMEA. Success in this position requires strong consultative sales and analytical skills, a focus on client service, a consultative approach to sales and the ability to thrive in a dynamic, team-focused environment delivering against tight deadlines. This position is based in Facebook’s EMEA Headquarters in Dublin.

Facebook job ad's bullshit rank reading from


Rank on global magnet list: #4

_Position: _Associate Account Strategist, SMB Sales

Area: Sales & Account Management

Location: Dublin, Ireland

Businesses that partner with Google come in all shapes, sizes and market caps, and no one Google advertising solution works for all. Your knowledge of online media combined with your communication skills and analytical abilities shapes how new and existing business grow. Using your influencing and relationship-building skills, you provide Google-caliber client service, research and market analysis. You anticipate how decisions are made, persistently explore and uncover the business needs of Google’s key clients and understand how our range of product offerings can grow their business. Working with them, you set the vision and the strategy for how their advertising can reach thousands of users.

The Google Business Associate Program: Supplementing your core role, you will participate in a two year developmental program which offers world-class training, equipping you with the business, analytical, and leadership skills needed to be successful at Google. You’ll work with a wide variety of Small- and Medium-sized Business (SMB) advertisers, developing a strong network within the Google community, and a deep understanding of our products and customers — the real foundation of Google.

When our millions of advertisers and publishers are happy, so are we! Our team of entrepreneurial, enthusiastic and client-focused team members are the “human face” of Google, helping entrepreneurs both individually and broadly build their online presence and grow their businesses. We are dedicated to growing the unique needs of small- and medium-sized businesses. Our teams of strategists, analysts, advisers and support specialists collaborate closely to spot and analyze customer needs and trends. Together, we create and implement business plans broadly for every type of small business.

Google job ad's bullshit rank reading from

Take away

While I am still waiting for the guidance on the algorithm used.

From Bern the maker of

And I may never get an answer.

My instinct tells me you can quantify lack of clarity.

Worth to remember Peter Drucker’s quote:

“If you can measure it, you can improve it.”

Make a note.

The more words used in the text. 

Save for Amazon. 

The worst the picture gets.

Which embodies why keep it short and sweet is the best Advice.

Not just in copywriting.

As John Battelle hints at it.

Not everybody has the luxury to say no to jobs.

I argue.

People need a purpose at work.

If you can’t articulate job ads.

What kinda trust you build?

How do you plan to sell your company as a great workplace.

That’s how you.

Turn days into nights.


When it comes to words.

You have a choice.

Further Reading, Notes, Credit

Read the original published on Medium.

On the Talent marketing fluff infographic.

Gibberish spiralling out of control.

In ever bigger coloured bubbles.

The size of the balls correspond to the number of words.

Ranked from Google #1 spiraling inward right to Salesforce #5 on the negative list.

Bullshit index readings snapshots are a courtesy of